I’ve heard them called “dumpsters” before, in a way

April 9, 2008

Here’s a picture of two people who annoy the shit out of me looking all happy! It’s Devendra Banhart and Natalie Portman, who probably is dating Banhart because his “music changed her life” [intentional sic].

I don’t know how Natalie Portman went from being so mindblowingly cute to me to seeming just utterly repulsive so quickly. Oh wait, yes I do. (I suppose I’m too hard on Natalie; after all Zach “Intentionally Quirky Funnyman” Braff was the one responsible for this line).

In any event, I’ll use this occassion to attract females to my blog by including celebrity dating bullshit (not really), and also to point you towards my other favorite thing related to Devendra Banhart: this parody of Other Music done by Human Giant (this is a must see for any indie rock fan).

As for Banhart’s music? I can get the same experience, but better, by driving down to Detroit and listening to that one homeless guy in Steve’s Place. You know, the guy that’s usually sleeping in a chair at one of the tables, face-down into his guitar. When he wakes up, and starts wailing, it’s way better than any of this freak-folk / hipsters got-too-bored-with-angular-guitars (especially when they started showing up in car ads / schlock that I just don’t give two shits about.

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4 Responses to “I’ve heard them called “dumpsters” before, in a way”

  1. Jamie Says:

    Talk about grim, I am so deeply offended by this post. Taking one of the top 5 loves of my life and shitting on her. Did you know Natalie Portman speaks NINE languages. NINE. That’s like 7 more than you and 8 and half more than me. I would appreciate it if you recinded this post. Or better yet, issue a public apology to Natalie who is busying herself trying to save the Gorillas and the Rain Forests while maintaining her constant state of beauty almost unmatched throughout the entire course of human history… with a minor timeout during the filming of Garden State. Hey it was probably a bad few months in her life, full of stupid choices…. Where were you last Saturday night? Probably throwing stones from your glass house while dancing to amazing tunes and eating free hungry howies.

    If some form of apology is not issued I will officially began (against me own better judgement and desire) to openly cheer against YOUR love, the Detroit Red Wings in this years playoffs. Just when I was getting into hockey.

    Go Flyers!!!
    “The Game! The Gaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!”

  2. Jamie Says:

    also, i forgot to mention, Natalie is not dating Banhart, but infact seeing Gael GarcĂ­a Bernal. Though I also dislike Banhart, this probably lessens my chances with Portman. At least with Banhart I’d know she has a thing for hairy guys. But Bernal? I guess I can always count on my Che Guevara T-shirt right?

  3. Klutz Says:

    NATALIE PORTMAN SPEAKS TWO LANGUAGES: HEBREW AND ENGLISS AS PART OF HER FAMILY IS FROM ISRAEL, YOU MORON.

    9??? YOU COULD ALSO SAY THAT SHE KNOWS HOW TO FLY AND HAS X-RAY VISION.

  4. Matt Says:

    LOL What the fuck is wrong with people who love celebrities? Get some real friends and some real interests.


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